ISBN Why Does He Do That?

by Bancroft, Lundy
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Bancroft, Lundy ISBN Why Does He Do That?
Bancroft, Lundy - ISBN Why Does He Do That?

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In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft-a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men-uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship.
He says he loves you. So...why does he do that?
You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about:
• The early warning signs of abuse
• The nature of abusive thinking
• Myths about abusers
• Ten abusive personality types
• The role of drugs and alcohol
• What you can fix, and what you can't
• And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely
"This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives."-Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health


Bancroft, Lundy

Further information

Table of Contents:
Why Does He Do That? Acknowledgments
Note on Terminology
Part I: The Nature of Abusive Thinking
1. The Mystery
2. The Mythology
3. The Abusive Mentality
4. The Types of Abusive Men

Part II: The Abusive Man in Relationships
5. How Abuse Begins
6. The Abusive Man in Everyday Life
7. Abusive Men and Sex
8. Abusive Men and Addiction
9. The Abusive Man and Breaking Up

Part III: The Abusive Man in the World
10. Abusive Men as Parents
11. Abusive Men and Their Allies
12. The Abusive Man and the Legal System

Part IV: Changing the Abusive Man
13. The Making of an Abusive Man
14. The Process of Change
15. Creating an Abuse-Free World




The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics
(with Dr. Jay G. Silverman)


I HAVE HAD MANY, many teachers along my path to understanding the mentality and behavior of abusive men. Before I can name names, however, I need to thank above all the hundreds of female partners and ex-partners of my clients who have shared their stories with me and who have thereby shed light on the denial and distortions running through my clients accounts of events. The survivors of abuse have been my greatest educators; if we could hear their voices much more, and the voices of the abusers and their allies much less, the world would move rapidly to eliminate the chronic mistreatment that so many women currently face in their intimate relationships.

My early colleagues at Emerge have a unique responsibility for setting me on the course that has brought me here: David Adams, Susan Cayouette, Ted German, Magueye Seck, Chuck Turner, Charlene Allen, and Jim Ptacek. In addition to being such a pleasure to work with, this group provided me with indispensable intellectual support and stimulation; I hope I was able to return some reasonable part of what they offered me.

Equally important to the growth of my understanding of abusive men, and of their impact on their partners and children, was Carole Sousa, who simultaneously educated us at Emerge and kept us honest. Her criticisms of our blind spots were often annoying, mostly because of how right they were. No single person has contributed more to the understandings that I am now sharing. I need further to thank Carole for generously reviewing the manuscript for this book and marking her comments (important ones, as usual) with dozens of sticky tabs. Her suggestions have strengthened this book in critical ways.

Other important influences on my insight into controlling and angry men and the destructive trail they leave behind them include Lonna Davis, Pam Whitney, Isa Woldeguiorguis, Susan Schechter, Sarah Buel, Jim Hardeman, Janet Fender, and Brenda Lopez. I would also like to express my appreciation to Jeff Edleson, Claire Renzetti, Jackson Katz, Peter Jaffe, Barbara Hart, Bonnie Zimmer, Elaine Alpert, Joan Zorza, Jennifer Juhler, Stephanie Eisenstat, Range Hutson, Scott Harshbarger, and Maureen Sheeran for their contributions to my learning about abuse and oppression and for their professional support and encouragement. Kate O Kane contributed by providing me with a beautiful and relaxing place to write during the day.

I also need to acknowledge how much I have learned from my clients themselves over the years, but it would not be appropriate for me to thank them, since without their abuse of women the writing of this book would be unnecessary.

I am grateful to Gillian Andrews, Carlene Pavlos, Jay Silverman, Steve Holmes, Catherine Benedict, Gail Dines, Carrie Cuthbert, and Kim Slote for their combination of personal support and intellectual/professional stimulation and assistance over the years. Gillian and Gail in particular have both kept after me for years to write this book, and it is largely due to their continued prodding that it is finally here; Gillian also provided invaluable comments and suggestions on the manuscript. My family, too, has been loving and supportive (and tolerant) during the time-consuming and sometimes stressful writing process; I love you and thank you more than I can say for carrying me along.

I owe tremendous gratitude to my agent, Wendy Sherman, who not only found a home for this book but also played a major role in forming the original concept and guiding its direction. A writer could not be in better hands. My appreciation also goes to Deb Futter at Doubleday who led me to Wendy. My editor at Putnam, Jeremy Katz, has had unshakable faith in this project from the beginning and has helped me through sev

Media Type:
Penguin Random House
Praise for Lundy Bancroft and Why Does He Do That?

Bancroft has opened a window into the thinking of abusive men, and his book helps open a door out of abusive relationships. Gavin de Becker, New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Fear and Fear Less

Most books about abuse in relationships focus on women how they re hurt, why they stay. As important as these questions are, they can also distract us from the heart of the problem. Bancroft boldly asks and brilliantly answers the most important questions of all: Why do so many men abuse women? What can be done about it? This book is desperately needed and long overdue. Jackson Katz, creator of the award-winning video Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity

This fascinating investigation into what makes abusive men tick is alarming but its candid handling of a difficult subject makes it a valuable resource for professionals and victims alike Jargon-free analysis is frequently broken up by interesting first-person accounts and boxes that distill in-depth information into simple checklists. Bancroft s book promises to be a beacon of calm for many storm-tossed families. Publishers Weekly
Bancroft, a former codirector of Emerge, the first U.S. program for abusive men, and a 15-year veteran of work with abusive men, reminds readers that each year in this country, two to four million women are assaulted by their partners and that at least one out of three American women will be a victim of violence by a husband or boyfriend at some point in her life. His valuable resource covers early warning signs, ten abusive personality types, the abusive mentality, problems with getting help from the legal system, and the long, complex process of change This is essential reading for those in the helping professions and highly recommended. Library Journal
2003. Corr. 4th
Number of Pages:
ISBN Why Does He Do That?. Book cover type: Paperback, Written by: Lundy Bancroft, Number of pages: 432 pages. Width: 152.4 mm, Height: 228.6 mm

Master Data

Product Type:
Paperback book
Release date:
1 September 2003
Package Dimensions:
0.27 x 0.261 x 0.03 m; 0.408 kg
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